February is the month of love, without a doubt. Love for your significant other, for your child, your family, your ultimate bestie or even love for 'The Duke of Hastings' (if you haven't watched Bridgerton on Netflix yet, do it right after finishing this article. Thank me later).
No matter which relationships you have in your life, communication and showing someone you love them is always important. But it can also be so damn hard. Having a good understanding of what matters to the other person is crucial to sustaining a long-term relationship.
That is why we are a huge fan of 'The 5 Love Languages' by Dr. Gary Chapman, a book in which the author outlines 5 ways in which we generally express and experience love.
Love is something you do for someone else, not something you do for yourself.
Knowing your own love language and that of your loved ones can help you achieve higher levels of connection and we're all for that in this digital day and age. But what are the 5 possible love languages? A quick summary.
Words of Affirmation
Do you notice that your loved one lightens up when you give him or her a compliment? Does that person tend to be the first to reach out to you to tell you that you've done something right? Does your partner leave you tiny love notes from time to time?
Chances are that words of affirmation are that persons primary love language. Words of affirmation are any spoken or written words that show support, gratitude, encouragement, appreciation...Basically using all the pretty and positive words in person or on paper.
Whilst words might not always seem so meaningful to you, they will be to someone with words of affirmation as a primary love language. So be attentive when selecting your words and let them know you love them verbally & regularly.
Quality Time
This is the love language that centers most around togetherness. It doesn't really matter what you're doing, as long as you're doing it together. And with undivided attention.
When quality time matters most to your loved one, try to schedule in regular dates where you focus on the quality of what you're doing and not necessarily time spent together. And most importantly: put the phone away. Show them you care by focusing on them and nothing else.
Receiving Gifts
For those whose native love language is receiving gifts, any present, no matter how big or small, is a physical symbol of your love for them.
It's not at all about being materialistic, since the cost of the present has no influence on the love one might feel for you upon receiving your gift. It's much more about the thoughtfulness of the gift and the fact that you put some effort into finding or creating just the right thing for the person you love.
Mastering the art of giving something small to a friend when they're down in the dumps or bringing back a souvenir from your travels for your significant other will be essentials if the people in your life have receiving gifts as their primary love language.
Receiving gifts as a love language is not at all about materialistic things. It's the thought and effort that count.
Acts of Service
Acts of Service as a love language is all about doing something small for the other person. Whereas 'receiving gifts' is more about the physical stuff, acts of service means that you're doing someone else a favor, for example by taking a task of their hands.
Say a friend with acts of service as a love language is completely swamped with work but was charged with organizing the birthday party of another friend. The best things you can do for that person is taking over some of the party planning responsibilities. Same goes for your partner. Perform some household chores which weren't yours to perform, do the dishes, water the plants, cook them a meal when you know they're busy...They will be eternally grateful.
Physical Touch
Now it gets interesting...Just kidding. Even though it might be the first thing popping into your mind, the physical touch love language is not just about sex. A hug, a shoulder touch, a stroke of the hair or even a pat of the back can have a substantial meaning to someone for whom physical touch is the primary love language.
The benefit of physical touch is that to that person, actions mean more than words and you can show them you love them just by being there, holding their hand and comforting them if needed with a sincere hug.
<aside> 💕 Ready to find out more about the 5 Love Languages? Not yet sure what your love language is? Take the test on 'The 5 Love Languages' website.
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Article by: Ellen Vandevyvere
Ellen is a productivity & time management coach for solopreneurs & works as a Notion Architect in Belgium & The Netherlands.
Photos by: Brooke Cagle
on Unsplash
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